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Paul Harvey, Rocky Mountain News, David Koresh, Anti-Abortion Toys, Leering Governors
Item One: SEE YOU, HARVEY!
NEWSWIRE: ... CHICAGO — Paul Harvey, the news commentator and talk-radio pioneer whose staccato style made him one of the nation’s most familiar voices, died Saturday in Arizona, according to ABC Radio Networks. He was 90. (obit) ...
Damn. I love Paul Harvey's recordings. In addition to his many hours on radio, Harvey produced a litany of spoken word overly patriotic LPs. Never too sharp or too bitter, all of his records mix well and are very fun to play with when combined with other music. The Paul Harvey recorded voice is so pitch nasal and strident. Sounds great on 33 rpm, 45 rpm, or even 78. The faster you spin a Paul Harvey record the better it sounds. He was control.
It's a notable achievement that Paul Harvey continued to broadcast and succeed in radio, particularly once his 'announcer is the voice' style became a retired format. Hearing Paul Harvey on the air was like listening to a time capsule speak the day's news. He sounded animatronic, operating on a program. It was his gift as an announcer to sound pre-recorded even when performing live. In that way I'll miss the radio robot. Thankfully, we'll always have his records.
What does not feel good, however, is the sudden seizing death of the Rocky Mountain News. I grew up with the Rocky, my family being subscribers for decades, and have countless good memories of reading the paper as a child in my family's kitchen, or on the living room carpet. I have much less emotional regard for the other paper, the Denver Post. Our family subscribed to both.
Part of the good feeling whenever returning to Denver was flipping through the Rocky. It served to confirm that I was back home. I felt a genuine pang of loss once I heard the newspaper was gone. A daily paper isn't like a Paul Harvey record. I'll genuinely miss seeing it on my parent's dining table.
In all fairness to the Denver Post, I should thank them for the first news story to cover my work. Back in 1993 my friend Ix and I concocted a way to exploit David Koresh's death in Waco TX, which was recent news at the time. We were both 17 and liked mean jokes. Our solution, "A Sampling of David Koresh" was a clear capsule produced the weekend of Koresh's death, with a label of David's face. I made an serviceable design that chirped "Is he the son of god or just chimney dust" and Ix found us hundreds of empty film cannisters.
1993 Sampling of David Koresh - by Ethan Persoff and Ix, Denver CO
We filled each of them up with fireplace debris and made hundreds of dollars over the weekend running through town, selling and trading everywhere, particularly banking at a Star Trek convention that same weekend (where the cost tripled and we sold out). I'll try to find the article to scan it, but Denver Post's archives tell me their coverage of the story is "It Could Be a Good Evening, If They Don't Do the Bunny Hop" on April 30, 1993; Page 1A.
Continuing with the news. Ah-bbortion!
be one of us...
Thered be eight babies har cept one them mothers dun killed hurs
Toys Picked Up
at the
Anti-Abortion Rally
Item Three: In funnier news, Austin enjoyed a visit from the always touring and boring Anti-Abortion exhibit last week. It's like the circus but with more blood and guilt. I won't bother you with photos of the thing, except to mention here's some information and that it billed itself as "The Justice for All 18-foot travelling exhibit". (Step right up, ladies and infants, NSFW photos if you want to see)
The big news is the giveaway toys they had at their very ignored information table. Very rare in life does the phrase "Is the fetus free" elicit not only a yes BUT ALSO a free fetus. This was one of those moments. Hallelujah. I don't know why I'm the only one at the information booth at these things. Even better was the additional gift handed me from another wary woman, which had me nearly squeeling in glee. Christmas in July, behold my new fetus "Preborn" brand action figure and "Precious Feet" signature series pin set:
I don't want to display these precious little feet any larger than they actually are, so you'll have to enjoy the image at the precious little size you see above (which they purport to be an actual cast!). But know that it is solid plated gold. And that I got $14 at the local pawn shop for it. Kidding, these Precious Feet are priceless! I plan to give them as an heirloom to all my aborted children. I will however show some closeups of the fetus toy, as it is pretty awesome:
Air filled, collapsible head, with a mold line right down the middle. Just like a real unborn baby. I have it in the back room of the house entertaining the barbies.
The comedy of a large 18-foot tall bloodied baby display with giveaway plastic fetuses and precious feet would remain intact, if not for recent Texas politics. Enter the "Heartbeat Bill":
News: Anti-Abortion Activists rally for 'Heartbeat Bill' Bill would require women to view ultrasound, listen to fetal heartbeat before abortion (news link)
QUOTE: Approximately 20 percent of all Texas pregnancies are aborted (nearly 80,000 abortions annually), said Governor Rick Perry.
"The right to life is not granted by the government or the courts. This is a right granted by God," Perry said. "When the baby’s life is taken, it’s not just the baby’s, it's the image of God."
You have to love the Governor. And by that I mean, hey Rick, go fuck yourself.
Speaking of Republican Governors,
it's not all hate speech against women's rights, or bible thumping. Republican governors want you to know they're changing into a viable political power. And they're doing it with a thoroughly creepy P.R. campaign highlighting what we'd like to call:
THE CREEPY MOLESTING EYES OF REPUBLICAN GOVERNORS
Think I'm lying? Look at these child predators. It's like an Action League of prison clowns without their makeup:
Ah! Such pervert creeps!
Those sunken melted eyes!
Ah!!!!
Pardon my loss of control there, but those faces could out-step Bob from Twin Peaks any day of the week. What's worse is these faces (along with Rick Perry, Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin) are the GOP's new mascots as the face of the party. Witness their new website, entitled with full Scientology-seeming conviction, "The GOP COMEBACK Begins NOW" Screenshot dance:
A note about this animation: It's just a flip-book of the two rotating images on thegopcomeback.com. Note their own design has Palin sieg heiling, among other gags like Rick Perry and Bobby Jindal playing a game of pokey.
And here to tell us about the big comeback is William Shatner:
Asked about the GOP Comeback, Seven out of ten unaborted babies said:
